Gossip Girl: Welcome back, Upper East Siders. After a long, hot summer away I see it didn't take much time for you to dirty up the clean slates I gave you. My inbox is overflowing, so let's get to the good stuff shall we? potted: Chuck Bass up to his old tricks. Poor B. I guess nothing good lasts forever.
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Chuck: I'm Chuck. Bass.
Ashley: I know.
Chuck: I wasn't expecting to see someone like you somewhere like this so early in the day.
Ashley: I needed a refuge. It's too hot.
Chuck: It's never too hot.
Ashley: Care to test that theory?
Chuck: What if I have a girlfriend?
Ashley: Chuck Bass doesn't do girlfriends. Where's your limo?
Chuck: I gave my driver the day off.
Ashley: Then I guess we'll have to find somewhere else.
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Nate: Well it's a good thing the flight attendants dimmed the cabin lights over the Atlantic.
Bree: Well it's an even better thing that my car got a flat on the way to Heathrow and I missed the plane that I was supposed to be on. Otherwise I would have been sitting in seat 3B of an entirely different plane. Waking up with an entirely different passenger in seat 3A.
Nate: Alright so now that we're back on our own turf do I at least get your number? Maybe your last name.
Bree: A little mystery never hurt anyone.
Nate: Oh really? C'mon, please. You gotta give me something to go on here.
Bree: Okay. Ah, well we are going to the same school.
Nate: Yeah, and Columbia's kind of a big one. Especially when you factor in graduate school.
Bree: You caught that. See you're a better detective than you think. Well, my car is waiting.
Nate: Oh, are you done with that. I' ll take it. sees the Buckley headline. On second thought—
Bree: You have a problem with the Buckley's?
Nate: Yeah, well that right-wing nut job called William van der Bilt a deviant for lobbying against DOMA.
Bree: Maybe that's because William van der Bilt called Jeb Buckley a cokehead and a cheater.
Nate: What, are you saying it isn't cheating if you get your congressional aide pregnant?
Bree: You're Nate Archibald.
Nate: And you're Bree Buckley.
Bree: You pulled my hair during the Clinton's inaugural ball.
Nate: Your redneck cousins tried to waterboard me at the Easter Egg hunt on the White House lawn.
Bree: It's good to see you again.
Nate: Yeah, take care of yourself.
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Chuck: Uh uh.
Ashley: Why not?
Chuck: It's better to wait.
Ashley: How long?
Chuck: Let's see... now.
Blair: What the hell is going on?
Chuck: Blair, I can explain.
Ashley: I'm sorry, um, I didn't know he had a girlfriend.
Chuck: Yes, you did. She did.
Blair: Shame on you, Ashley Henshaw. How could you do that? Pick up someone in a relationship? Have you no pride, no self respect?
Ashley: Okay, but I didn't know—
Blair: You may have an Abercrombie campaign and the security code to Clooney's castle in Lake Como but that doesn't give you the right to try and steal someone else's man! Now take your American Girl hair and your poreless skin and get out!
Ashley: Okay, you're crazy.
Chuck: Hey.
Blair: Hi. they kiss [?] 2 or 3 hours. I missed you.
Chuck: Let me make it up to you. Let's get out of here.
Blair: Or we could stay.
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Serena: Wait you do what? I go to Europe for three months and you turn from Jane Austen to Anais Nin. Is there anything Chuck Bass can't get you to do?
Blair: It was my idea.
Serena: No, no it wasn't.
Blair: Yes, it was. We had our honeymoon period and while other couples settle into routine we were determined to keep things interesting. So Chuck plays the cheating bastard and I play the scorned woman. I even get to choose who to humiliate. Models, tourists, Upper West Siders...
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Serena: Why won't you leave me alone Carter? You're not my boyfriend.
Carter: No, but I seem to be the only one you tell your secrets to.
Serena: Well I guess that was a mistake.
Carter: Dropping your dress, stealing horse—all that is is a cry for attention.
Serena: I don't need to cry for attention. I'm getting plenty on my own in case you haven't noticed.
Carter: Yeah, plenty from everyone except the one you want it from.
Serena: That's not true.
Carter: He didn't want to see you Serena.
Serena: That's not what happened.
Carter: We spent a month chasing him down and then we found him he couldn't even meet you face to face.
Serena: Well maybe he didn't get my message or he didn't realize who I was—
Carter: He didn't realize who his daughter was? Serena, what if your dad didn't want to see you? Who cares? Who the hell is he not to want you? I would have stayed all summer with you. But after that you ditched me and ran again.
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Blair: Chuck, where is she?
Chuck: What are you talking about?
Blair: Do you really expect me to believe you don't have her stashed here?
Chuck: I came back from the party because I have a headache. Didn't you get my messages?
Blair: I must have left my phone on the table. What if we need games? What if without them we're boring?
Chuck: We could never be boring.
Blair: You say that, but I know you. You're Chuck Bass.
Chuck: I'm not Chuck Bass without you.
Blair: Running to get here all the way from Connecticut was pretty exciting. Do you know where Alexandra lives?
Chuck: How about we stay in instead.
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Blair: Chuck, none of these girls are even worth humiliating, looking in the mirror will do that for them.
Chuck: Is everything ok? What's going on?
Blair: Nothing's going on, why?
Chuck: This is a one stop shop and you're acting like everything's last season. I thought you wanted to play.
Blair: I did! I do.
[Chuck looks at her intensely]
Blair:: I did. The summer was great. We had a lot of fun. Maybe summer's over?
Chuck:: OK. If that's what you want.
Blair:: Is that what you want?
Chuck: I want you to be happy. However, that's achieved.
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