The seniors put on a production of The Age of Innocence and find their personal lives mirroring the play. Serena develops a crush on the play's director, Julian, and enlists Vanessa's knowledge of theater to help her get his attention. Blair receives devastating news about her future that leads her on a witch-hunt for the person responsible. Dan and Rachel agree to stay away from each other in the aftermath of being discovered as more than teacher and student, but find it impossible to keep that promise. Chuck enlists help from an unlikely source, his nemesis Carter Baizen.
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Blair: Airing my dirty laundry to Yale and sending the Lord Marcus Gossip Girl blast makes you officially my enemy number one.
Vanessa: I don't know what you're talking about, Blair. Honestly.
Blair: And what are you doing with her? We hate her.
Serena: I don't hate her. She's my friend. And you just need to calm down.
Blair: Calm down? Serena. She got me axed from Yale. You're seriously taking her side. Fine. But a word of advice: she will be destroyed and you don't want to become collateral damage.
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Nate: You want feelings? Well I- , I hate these clothes. I hate this play. And I hate pretentious ass hats who try and steal other people's girlfriends. In fact I might just spontaneously punch one the next time you get in my face.
Blair: I know just how Mr. Beaufort feels. Working so hard for something and losing it. Because people are out to destroy you.
Serena: Well Countess, at least you don't have to go through your whole life worried your best friend will humiliate and betray you.
Nelly: I hate this fat suit!
Nate: Oh and there's one other thing. My whole family lost all of our money before my father went to jail for embezzlement. So I think I know more about humiliation and bankruptcy—
Dan: Beau—
Nate: —than some lame dilettante director. Okay?
Stage Director: Oh. My. God.
Dan: Why don't we retire to the parlor for some port? With Mr. and Mrs. van der Luydens.
Nate: I don't give a damn about the van der Luydens, Humphrey.
Dan: Alright.
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Rachel: That was some performance.
Dan: It's nothing compared to yours.
Rachel: What do you mean?
Dan: You called Yale, sent the blast into Gossip Girl to get revenge on Blair? I believed in you. All your talk about integrity and ideals.
Rachel: My ideals? Blair spread false rumors, blackmailed the school, turned my job into a sham with no repercussions.
Dan: You're just as bad as she is. No, you're worse. Blair's a high school-er You're an adult. You need to fix things with Blair.
Rachel: Absolutely not.
Dan: You know how you felt when your ideals were crushed? Well congratulations, you've crushed mine.
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Gossip Girl: In life as in art, some endings are bittersweet. Especially when it comes to love. Sometimes fate throws two lovers together, only to rip them apart.
Dorota: Miss Blair is out, Mr. Chuck.
Chuck: I'll wait.
Gossip Girl: Sometimes the hero finally makes the right choice. But the timing is all wrong. And, as they say, timing is everything.
Carter: Hello Beautiful.
Blair: Carter. What are you doing here?
Carter: Buying you a drink.
Gossip Girl: Looks like this story might just have a second act. Let's hope it's not a tragedy. XOXO —Gossip Girl.
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